At times the people in our lives can say or do things that can be hurtful to us. Maybe something happened ‘in the heat of the moment’ or maybe no harm was even intended and simply an old wound got lit up for you.
Whatever the case, things happen and we have the choice to either open up and bleed and feel it all or close down and put up a wall. More often than not people prefer to run, hide and build walls, which does nothing but contribute to the sense of division and isolation from others. It takes a lot of courage to stay in one’s vulnerability when things get uncomfortable or when pain comes up.
Whether harm from another was intended or not it is an immediate healing to fully acknowledge and own the pain that can come up at times. You powerfully heal yourself and others when you allow yourself to stay fully present with your feelings rather than casting them aside as troublesome or inconvenient. If you don’t own and feel your stuff now it will come up again at another time, so you might as well just go ahead and do the work now.
Sometimes disagreements arise between people because of their differences from one another and these disagreements can be resolved gently and kindly with respect and reverence towards all involved or there can be negative reactions that individuals usually wish they had handled differently. In those times we must remind ourselves that all of us are indeed spiritual beings on a human path and nobody’s perfect. We all learn and we all make mistakes – that’s what we’re here for and is primarily how we grow.
Each one of us is so very unique and simply cannot be compared to another. Everyone is different and has their own approaches and perspectives in life. Sometimes we simply disagree on things, but we can always agree to disagree.
Truth is, we all came from the same source and we are all heading in the same direction, too. That direction is love and inclusiveness.
There are different kinds of wounds and reasons for why they are created. Some of them can be from this lifetime and some can go very far back to past lives. It is precisely at that time when you are ready to face these old wounds that they get triggered again around a specific person or place. This is no accident or coincidence and was indeed divinely orchestrated by your essence, aka your higher self, so you could release the past and move on to greener pastures.
I understand that it can be very difficult to forgive an aggressor, but the thing with holding on to anger or unforgiveness toward another is that at the end of the day the only person these heavy emotions will really harm is you. Choosing to hold on to the old toxic energy of unforgiveness is an energy leak since by doing so you are in fact keeping a piece of your energy hostage in the past. That energy could be very well be used for something much more productive such as your creative projects.
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone what they did. It means releasing the toxic energy you have been holding on to so you can move on.
Let me clarify this just in case it wasn’t clear from the start: there is nothing wrong with feeling anger, unforgiveness or any other heavy emotions. When an injustice occurs, an emotional response is only natural and is there to communicate some truth to you. However, after the experience is over and lessons have been learned, it is time to let go.
Being willing to release your anger and consciously choosing to forgive is a hello to the truth that we come here to have experiences based on our spiritual agreements with one another. Once the agreements are complete and experiences have been had it is time to integrate.
Everyone heals in their own way and at their own pace. There is no rush and there is no pressure to heal fast. Most importantly you heal by expressing your feelings and the truths that have been stirred in your heart. It does not serve anyone to hold your deep truths and pain inside.
Once you reach the other side of your forgiveness process you can once again start to entertain the idea that everyone is always doing their best. Yes, even those that seem to be outright intentionally harming others. Indeed, universal justice exists and no one ever gets away with anything. This Universe of ours is a very fair and just one and we are very blessed. Staying centered in these simple truths we can start to move forward into the future with childlike innocence and trust again.
Energywork tip: you can use imagination for this forgiveness exercise. Imagine a gold rose between you and the person or event you would like to forgive. Just keep saying hello to the gold rose until you have sufficient space from this person or event. Once you get your space back and become neutral to all the strong emotions that have come up you can start to heal.
© Copyright Hello EssenceJoy 2016
Photo: ‘Golden Buddha’ / Unsplash.com