27 Apr

Self-love allows you to show up in your fullness

Sometimes that part of us that we consider dark and unacceptable, aka ‘the shadow’, comes up bringing with it some uncomfortable old emotions or experiences.

‘The shadow’ is really just an umbrella term for everything that is as of yet unknown to us about ourselves on a conscious level. It is ‘the stuff’ we have shoved into the unconscious for processing another time. It is our unconscious beliefs about ourselves and those are what either hold us back from living a life of fullness and beauty or what give us an unknown confidence and courage to reach for the stars.

Within what we call ‘the shadow’ are contained old addictions, tendencies, worries, fears, inadequacies, and so forth, all of which are the product of the experiences we’ve had over many many lifetimes. That stuff can be uncomfortable to be with and the knee-jerk reaction is to try to escape it all through some form of an addiction, which only serves to numb the pain. Healing, however, comes from not attempting to overcome your shortcomings or to seek to ‘improve yourself’, but to completely own and love whatever comes up. There is nothing to improve and everything to own and accept.

Self-love means to lovingly accept everything about yourself and not just the parts that are popular and easy to accept. This also means unconditionally loving your shadow. Apply self-love to yourself like a mother tends to her wounded child with utmost tenderness.

You become a teacher of love by simply loving yourself for all that you are without trying to hide or fix anything about yourself and by showing up authentic.

If you try to hide your shortcomings or to cover them up so as to appear strong and invulnerable to others, you are doing yourself and everyone else a disservice. No one benefits from perfection – there is enough emotional deadness already. Like a desert that is thirsty for rain, the world needs more people who walk in authenticity. Remaining vulnerable, soft and open no matter what is the greatest form of leadership and gift anyone can ever give to the planet right now.

There is a very old lie that both men and women with higher masculine energy carry around, it is the belief that vulnerability and sensitivity is a weakness. However, here’s the catch: it takes vulnerability to live your dreams and to reach fulfilment. It is your vulnerability that inspires others and allows them to feel safe enough to open up, too. It is vulnerability that creates loving communities.

If you were used to being discriminated or grew up in an unloving home you may still be feeling the effects of the abuse and wondering what you did to deserve that. Your inner child may still be carrying wounds. And you might still be looking outside of yourself for approval since none of it was forthcoming during your early years. However, no one else can ever know you in your fullness and approve all of you in the way that you can. The only person whose approval you’ll ever need is your own.

©Copyright Hello EssenceJoy 2016

Photo: Free nature photography / unsplash.com

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