29 Apr

Dealing with heartbreak, loss and grief

The month of April has been quite tough for many of us.

On the global scale a major Earthquake has just seriously disrupted the lives of the people of Nepal and surrounding areas that are now receiving international help in the form of disaster aid and prayers. On a more personal level I’ve ended a relationship, lost a beloved teacher and had to put my plans for a spiritual center on hold.

The thing is, when you live with an open heart, actually care about people and feel genuine concern for them, you are bound to get hurt. Change and losses can be painful no matter how much we spiritualize, conceptualize or explain it all away. Grief happens.

This is how life is. Just look at nature itself – it is in constant change, growth and transformation. Sometimes that change can come unexpectedly and with a shock. We are constantly challenged to let go and accept the things that are outside of our space and out of our control.

Life is constantly pushing us to create more and destroy what is weighing us down or what no longer serves us. It’s always pushing us beyond our limits of comfort.

“Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the façade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagine to be true”. ~Adyashanti

Sometimes break-down needs to happen in order to create change, to let go of that which is non-essential and to allow in the new. It does no one any service to keep carrying around the old heaviness of ego illusions and expectations. If you’ve been carting your past around with you for a very long time, then it can be a bit of a shock when it’s made aware to you, when you suddenly see all the heavy stuff you’ve held on to so tightly believing it was you. But rest assured – all that is now on its way out!

You let go bit by bit until you reach that part of you that is really true about you, the part of you called ‘essence’. Essence itself cannot be broken down, because it is real. You can’t destroy what is really truly real. And essence is pure joy.

The process of letting go can be painful for the body that seeks comfort, so it’s absolutely healthy to let the tears roll in this time … let your body have its emotional release without any judgment. If you hold back, you are simply prolonging the process. There is no point in ‘toughing it out’. Just let those tears fall.

So how do you find centering and anchoring in all of this and let go with Grace? Find your meditation space and through it rediscover your center and your amusement. Forgive those who have hurt you. Forgive those who left you. And forgive yourself for whatever you may have blamed yourself for.

Where I find anchoring in all of this is by regularly giving a hello to my essence in meditation and simply living my life as a creation of my essence. I trust in essential timing and trust that everything is always on time. This is what all the spiritual teachers talk about. It’s the graceful beauty of living.

The true value of a constant meditation practice is that you get in touch with that really creative part of yourself and you create space for something new and wonderful to enter your life. Maybe even new colors and vibrations to create from perhaps!

© Copyright Hello EssenceJoy 2015

Photo: ‘Forest’ / Google